From That Night to Now
by Azure K Mello
Summary: JS. . . sorta. not happy. Character death. angst abounds. COMPLETE


Disclaimer: I own nothing, the challenges is Prongs, song is owned by The Ronettes, the characters are J.K.R.'s don't I wish I owned them. . . no I'd break their innocence and that would be bad. Plot is wholly mine, Azure K Mello.  
  
Dedications: SiriusXJames, thanks for letting me be part of the magic.  
  
Locations/Distribution: the SiriusXJames challenge file and at want it? Ask for it.  
  
Title: From That Night to Now.  
  
Warning: Slash don't read if you don't like. Character death, angst abounds.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The night we met I knew I needed you so  
  
And if I had the chance I'd never let you go  
  
So won't you say you love me  
  
I'll make you so proud of me  
  
We'll make 'em turn their heads  
  
Every place we go  
  
So won't you please (Be my be my baby) Be my little baby  
  
(I want it only say) Say you'll be my darling  
  
(Be my be my baby) Be my baby now  
  
(I want it only say) Ooh, ohh, ohh, oh I'll make you happy, baby  
  
Just wait and see  
  
For every kiss you give me  
  
I'll give you three  
  
Oh, since the day I saw you  
  
I have been waiting for you  
  
You know I will adore you  
  
Till eternity  
  
So won't you please (Be my be my baby) Be my little baby  
  
(I want it only say) Say you'll be my darling  
  
(Be my be my baby) Be my baby now  
  
(I want it only say) Ooh, ohh, ohh, ohh, oh So come on and please  
  
(Be my be my baby) Be my little baby  
  
(I want it only say) Say you'll be my darling  
  
(Be my be my baby) Be my baby now  
  
(I want it only say) Ooh, ohh, ohh, oh (Be my be my baby) Be my little baby  
  
(I want it only say) Ooh-oh-oh-oh, ooh-oh-oh-oh  
  
(Be my be my baby) Oh-oh-oh, oohh...  
  
(I want it only say) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooohh...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The wind and ran were pelting down on Diagon Alley. Keeping his head down Sirius Black fought against the elements to get through to all the stores he needed things from. In two weeks he would be starting at Hogwarts and he was excited to get his supplies. BANG! Upon hitting something Sirius looked up into the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen.  
  
James Potter looked up and laughed, "Hey there! I guess we both need to keep a look out, huh? You ok?" he asked as he straitened his jeans.  
  
"I-I-I am fine." Stuttered Sirius looking at the gorgeous creature. "Where are you headed?" he said trying to make up for lost ground.  
  
"Owl Emporium. You?"  
  
"Me too." Said Sirius quickly changing his plans. "Commo let's get out of this weather." He said as the boys walked together.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Sirius?" asked James as he sat in front of his best friend. "Did you hear the question?"  
  
"Yes," said Sirius slowly, "You want me to be your best man when you marry Lily Evans."  
  
"And?" asked James slowly. "Are you ok."  
  
"Of course I'll do it James, you've been my best friend forever why do you even feel you have to ask?" he said sounding absorbed.  
  
James watched him for a moment and then said, "Great, wonderful, ok. Well I have to go. . ."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sirius was staring blankly off into space during charms. He barely noticed when he caused an inkwell to explode with a flick of his wand. All he thought about was James Potter, his best friend for the last two years. When the hell an I gonna get the stones and just tell him how I feel, he wondered, I am such a loser. Lupin was watching him from the other side of the room. His heart was filled with pity for his friend, why couldn't James just wake up and smell the hottie? He throw a bit of crumpled parchment at Sirius. The boy looked shocked for a moment. Uncurling it he read the message: James is a loser sometimes. Slowly he smiled sadly and waved to Remus and went back to his brooding. Picking up a pen he scrawled a message on the back of the note and threw it back. Ever so slowly Remus read it, trying not to attract attention but when he read the note he audibly chocked out of shock. It simply read: Fuck it, I'm telling him tonight.  
  
They later walked into the common room the two abreast. There upon the couch sat James and Lily Evans. James smiled as they walked in, "Hey guys. You know Lily, right?" Sirius nearly passed out at the sight. Remus nodded with a slightly bemused look on his face as he grabbed Sirius' arm and held him up. With another curt nodded he dragged Sirius out of the picture porthole just before the boy passed out. "What was that about?" asked James turning back to Lily. The girl simply shrugged.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
James straitened Sirius' dress robes. "Thank-you for this." He said looking at his own white robe. "You're the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. I'm so glad you're part of today." His smile was wide and Sirius though he felt his heart break smiled back.  
  
"Well, I love you, and I'm so glad you found happiness." He said which was the truth it just burned like cheep wine that he wasn't the one to make James happy. "Do you have your vows?" James nodded, "The ring?" James nodded. "Then on to the show." Said Sirius with a easy to miss but none the less sad tone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Did you tell him?" asked Remus the next day looking as ill as Sirius felt. Clearly his nerves were wreaked from worrying about his friend's well being.  
  
"No, I feel like such a loser." Said Sirius. Remus just gave him a hug.  
  
"You're not a loser, we all do things because we're blinded by love. You're just weak because you put James' happiness before your own. And really that's the deepest form of love."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The bride, ceremony, and reception were beautiful. The best man's speech was funny and well executed. The cake was delicious. And The party was over. James and Lily were in Greece and everything was done bar the shouting. Sirius took one last look at his note and swallowed the potion he had brewed for himself yesterday. With another look at the note he was gone and all that was left in his place was a single black rose. It was in this state that Remus found him the next morning, he read the note and laughed in spite of his tears.  
  
To whom it may concern,  
  
I just couldn't do it anymore. This all hurt far too much to cope with any longer. James, I love you with all my heart. Remus, my best friend, I only hope that someday you can forgive me for this selfish act.  
  
All the happiness in the world belongs to you,  
  
Sirius.  
  
Only that bastard would address his suicide note "to whom it may concern". The truth was Moony had always thought that if anyone would take their own life it would be Padfoot, because at least then he could have a say in it. He always did hate feeling helpless. He remembered his own words to Sirius. He had never told him how he felt knowing that the boy only had room in his heart for James. He'd never spoken up, always rooted for Jay and he to get together because he knew that it was what Sirius wanted. He just wished his friend had considered him as a alternative to suicide. 


End file.
